Apart from football, I do not really appreciate Sundays as much as other people seem to. Part of it is that my brain is always looking at what is next. My whole life has been a struggle to stay in the moment (or even just in the same day), but I fail more often than I succeed. When I was in college, Sundays were spent catching upon homework or doing research with some football thrown in. When I was working Sundays were spent watching football, going shopping (because the ads come out and that is what you do), or doing some form of housework. All of this with the undertone that Monday was right around the corner. Never mattered what I was doing. Even if Monday was a holiday, there was always this feeling of dread that it was already over. This made Sundays hard to tolerate. They still are but now I have to share them with family.
I tend to not want to do anything on Sundays because of this dread. Oddly, it has not dissipated since becoming a stay-at-home-dad, it has increased at times. I think my introversion has been able to run rampant and weekends are intruded upon by their all-day presence. Fridays have been met with the same dread because my intro-self (IS) knew it would not get the energy it needs just to survive. That time alone never seemed to be enough. Over the last 9 months, IS has had plenty of time to recharge but it seems insatiable and seems to drain faster in the presence of others faster than it ever has before in my life. What do I need to do to get past this? Is this a side effect of ADHD combined with being an introvert? ( These are questions I have been exploring and perhaps will share their answers here. Thank you for coming.
(I know, this is not the post about the ultramarathon. It is coming. I promise. This was just another one of those 5 minute quickies.)
No, I do not mean 2013 Mondays (I counted, roughly, and it has been more than that at my age). I mean Mondays in the year 2013. Mondays have been a lot like Fridays but I have run a lot more on Mondays. This day has been my day after a two day rest so I would be restless and want to run. The hard part in the last couple months is that, after two days with the family at home, I needed to get things done around the house that I could not do with the family around. With the holidays, I had to do a lot of cleaning and reorganizing the piles of stuff so the house would look presentable for family guests. We have not had many guests but, next month is my daughters’ birthday and we will have people over for that. Score! I look, relatively, organized. It seems that Mondays at home have mirrored Mondays when I was working. Not uber productive but far more than Fridays. We will have to explore this with other days of the week.
Thanksgiving was last week. It was nice. We actually had Thanksgiving dinner on Thanksgiving this year. I use the empirical ‘we’ because I was out getting a laptop at a good price for my wife so she can work from home. I did not miss much other than my wife trying to get the kids to sit still and eat in the midst of the kids’ cousins being rambunctious and doing things the little ones cannot do yet. So when I say ‘miss’ I mean in the same spirit as I ‘miss’ diarrhea or I ‘miss’ the chance of getting a venereal disease from an ex-girlfriend (i.e. not so much). I got back in time to play with them and watch them open presents (then start to melt down because it was 9:00 and their bedtime is 6:30).
Thanksgiving was also the second night of Hanukkah (thus the reference to opening presents). Hanukkah has been fun this year. The kids have been able to get a lot of things they want plus some gift cards will allow them to get a few more things that pop up. No latkes but they have been able to have Thanksgiving dinner on Hanukkah which will not happen again until the sun burns out or something like that.
I am continuing the streak of running at least a mile a day. I even ran a mile while we were at a friend’s child’s birthday party and the kids ran it with me (we were at a park with a couple of soccer fields).
I am going to try increasing my posts by doing at least one 5 minute quickie post each day. I will only write for 5 minutes and if I am motivated to write later I will (particularly if I do not finish my post).
That is all for now.
I am thankful for my friends. I am thankful for The Goofy Kindhearted One, the Righteous One who has bad taste in football teams, The Ubernerd who is also an athlete, The Hobbit, The Missing One, The Nerdy Guitar Hero, and The Nerdy Goofy One. Notice a trend? Yes they are all rather goofy (oh, and nerdy). Is this because I am like this or because I seek the goofiness I need to complete what I am missing. Probably a little of both. These people have been my friends since third grade (Ubernerd since high school). I am grateful for every moment I have known them and every moment I will have with them.
I am thankful for my family. I love my wife and I am grateful for sharing my life with her. I love my son. He is a bright, beautiful, curious ray of sunshine on any day. I am thankful for my daughter. She is love in a little package. She is full of kisses and hugs. She is full of curiousity and wit. I enjoy her laughter and thrill at her discoveries about life.
I am thankful for my home. I love knowing that I can get up in the morning to a lovely house and share my time with those I love. I look forward to getting the yard straightened out and the garage cleaned up (so I can clutter them all over again during the holidays).
I am thankful for my health. I love that I can run and swim and exercise. I love that I can tolerate pain and weather. I love the feeling of completing a workout and sweating (intentionally) only to cool off in a pool so cold I have to chase off polar bears.
I am thankful for the few people who still read my posts. I do write some of this for you. Most of it is for my own amusement and my ego says that if I find something clever, someone else might as well. I guess I should look into finding some validation to this theory so I can either inflate my ego or pop it like a balloon (not like this has not been done a hundred times in the last few years, but it is good to know, right?).
I am thankful that I can still look for a job. I appreciate the time I have had at home to be there when I my little ones get off school, but that will need to end soon. I like postulating about the available jobs out there as well as the unavailable jobs out there. I would not mind working at a sports store ( I have applied to a few). I might have some issue with selling things I do not endorse, but I would get over it. Sales, unlike speech therapy, does not have much of a code of ethics. I can still steer people in the direction of something I feel is appropriate. I still want to work online or energy healing and I am still searching for a way to do this, but I will probably have to supplement my wife’s income during the process. I am grateful that I am in a position to do this. (I hear Elephant Journal is taking interns… interesting.)
I am thankful that I can now go sleep (do not know if it will be for 7 hours or 1 hour) in my bed and get up in the morning to beauty. Thank you for reading. I will see you tomorrow.
Greeting to all my followers! I realized I passed my one year mark but I am incredibly grateful that I am still around. I am grateful for those of you who remain as well!
1. I ran my long run yesterday at a 9:30 pace. I will be doing crosstraining and foamroll today and I will work in a run this weekend.
2. My son has finally started caring about his fellow classmates at school and his behavior is improving. I am far less concerned that he is getting the rewards his teacher provides than I am about his concern for his classroom experience. Next week is parent-teacher conferences.
3. I am finally getting organized around the house and making a list of blog topics as well. Hopefully, I can finally get around to writing those entries.
4. My daughter loves her new school. She is finally being challenged and there are no reports of acting out we had at her previous school. In years past, she would get bored with her teachers or her curriculum and she would bite. None of that this year. She is happy with school. She gets to sing, dance, make art almost every day.
5. Two months unemployed and I realize more and more how much I do not miss my job. Yes, I miss the money and I am currently looking for something to do while the kids are in school, but I am realizing that I could not ethically continue to do the things they were expecting me to do. That job was 85-90% paperwork, 5% school-related duties (meetings that addressed nothing I needed to know, lunch duty, going into the special education classroom to provide services I was not qualified to provide to students I did not have on my caseload, etc.), 8% prep time, and perhaps some time to get to providing therapy for the students. That leftover time was to be therapy but at what cost? Sacrificing therapy quality for the needs of some state protocol or some protocol set forth by the district which ends up being busy work at best is unethical and mind-numbing. I have probably alluded to how I feel and think about that job in the past, but my wife still works there and things are even worse this year than last.
I am looking forward now. I am getting fit in the process. I am pushing myself and my hope is to get good enough to find a sponsor or two. I am entertaining thoughts about how to make money for now since this whole getting a job thing is not working too well. I have filled out applications online and nothing has come to fruition, not even a call for interview. I am waiting for Road Runner Sports to get back to me. I talked with the newly appointed store supervisor and explained that all I want is part-time work. She sent an email to their human resources department and we are waiting now.
Fall is here (even in the
pits of Hell desert and runs are easier and heat runs are basically over. Although 86 degrees is still hot for doing long runs, I can manage.
Sitting at the mall (I guess they didn’t see us come in because they did not come up to clean as soon as the kids got their shoes off) and realizing I have been slacking way too much in the blog department. I knew that the lack of iPad would result in this. I apologize. I think I was also using the cathartic effects of the blog to help deal with a situation I was not satisfied with. I have since left that job. So has some of my motivation to keep blogging. I have other reasons to keep blogging and I am in the process of reorganizing the way I think about and approach this blog. I will continue to write about fitness, family, and food. Those are the most important things in my life. I love all the people I have met through their blogs and I thoroughly enjoy reading about other people’s lives, loves, trials, and triumphs. I will continue to do so. For those that read my blog, please bear with me. I am in transition and I am trying to sort through my daily schedule to find a natural time to blog. It will come. Namaste.
I apologize (again) for not posting in awhile.
Today I am thankful for my life.
My children are wonderful.
My wife is beautiful, kind, patient, understanding, and loving.
I love my home and my neighborhood. I am grateful that I was able to send my son off to his first day of school today. He was great, just got in line and walked in. That is the easiest first day he has had in his short 5 years of life.
I am grateful to have been able to spend the day with my daughter by ourselves.
I am grateful for my friends. I am grateful for all of my readers.
I am grateful for having had the use of the iPad last year. I will have to concentrate harder to post here without it. Neither of my laptops is portable anymore, the batteries have the storage time of my short-term memory lately. This has become a bit more inconvenient but I am working on it. Nothing worth doing is easy at first, right?
I am grateful for the beginning of football tonight (I guess I can even be grateful that it is the Dolphins and Cowboys).
I am grateful for the weather lately. This is the first time I have ever actually sensed Fall at this time of year. I could actually smell it in the air this morning. I know Fall does not come for 5 more weeks but there was the distinctive scent of Autumn.
I am grateful for not working my last job anymore. I am finding more clarity and looking forward to getting up in the morning.
I hope to be posting with greater frequency soon.