Month: November 2012
I guess this is not really weight loss but it falls into the area of exercise so it sort of fits. once I reach my target weight, I will add a healthy or fitness category for this sort of thing. Maybe even a race category to separate this topic from general health. I feel like I am waiting for my first day of school or my first date or even my first sexual encounter. I am excited beyond belief but scared so much I need to wear an adult diaper when I think about what is coming. I already knew I would be under-equipped for this but little did I know that I would not even have the 5 weeks I was supposed to have for training. I might as well have been told today that I would be in this thing for next Saturday. If you have been reading my posts, dear reader, you might notice that I am a bit divided on this topic.
Ego: I am a runner, not a Navy Seal. I would have been woefully undertrained for this no matter what. I am going to go out there and either let myself down or hurt myself. I will definitely let down my partner and that is what hurts the most. *In the past, this set of circumstances would allow me to bow out and quit before I start.* I have never done anything like this before and the things they set up sound dangerous and downright impossible to manage. I can do this because I am somehow specially gifted to adapt and I will not let anyone down. I don’t know about those pipes with mud and water in them (twice). I am fearful of such a thing. This has been a fear since childhood, getting stuck in a drainpipe. *I will not fear. Fear is the mind killer. I will face my fear and let it wash over me.*
Spirit: I am safe. I will have fun. I am with a dear friend whom I cherish and love and could never let down any more than she could let me down. I am doing all I can and I will trust that is sufficient to go out and have fun and do what I can to the best of my ability at the time of the race. Worrying about things I cannot control is a waste of energy. I will go and enjoy my experience and have fun along with a thousand other people.
I got my appetite back today but I have not changed my diet. This illness had taken away my desire to eat for a week. I forced myself to eat but I did not eat much in the last week. I actually had the desire to eat today combined with actual hunger pangs but I refrained. I have trained myself well. I am sticking to this regimen. I still aim for 30 pounds before the PF Chang’s (now) 1/2 Marathon. It should be an exciting time. This is the 10th year of the race so there will be more hoopla associated with the whole thing. Plus, we have always run the full before and missed all the post race fun because people get bored after 5 hours of waiting and by the time we got there, school had usually started the next day.
My ankle is s till tight but I can run on it. I have not been able to train for the Rugged Maniac aka Suicide by Mud. (well they do not call it that now, but after I am done, it will have a new name)
Meditation is not coming easily with these coughing fits. Night is the time when the coughing starts and it does not matter what I am doing or what position I am in, they come in full force. Fun times.
and this too shall pass…
We have a 3 day weekend this week and I might be taking a couple days off the following week (we only have 2 days of work that week) depending on how I feel. I did go to work with only 1 day rest after my first couple of 6 hour marathons, so I do not see this as being as bad. I look forward to having fun with my friend and getting nasty dirty with her. 🙂
.5 cup cashews
2 small veggie quesadillas with .25 cup cheese
2.5 liters water
4 miles continuous running with no warm up walk or walk/run
10 minutes of laps in the pool after running
10 minutes of static weights
5 minutes of pull-ups
30 minutes – fairly deep
The running felt good. My body did not agree with this sentiment after I stopped though. I started coughing then puked on the sidewalk. Cleared my throat and sinuses though and I was able to run another 200 yards. My best workout in a long time. Attitude makes the difference. I once limited myself thinking I was preventing injury or overtraining. I know that I was just sabotaging myself and preventing myself from moving forward. it is easy to hold onto the past ways of garnering your spirit and gaining energy. They fell comfortable no matter how inadequate they can be. It is time to move forward.
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Litany against fear,
Frank Herbert, Dune
I lost 3 more pounds as of this morning. My total weight loss now is 13.4 pounds. Seems like my temperature has gone up at times either through a fever or increased metabolism. This has created a catabolic effect causing me to burn more kcals. It is good in this case. Something similar happens with certain disease processes like cancer where a person has a low-grade fever. The have increase the person’s kcal input otherwise the person wastes away. This is often put off as part of the treatment, but it is also from a fever that is not noticeable or is perceived as not dangerous. I have plenty to waste away at this point. I am almost halfway to my goal of 30 pounds. The next 17 pounds can be difficult but I am increasing my exercise and increasing the diversity of exercises to engage different muscle groups and more core work. P90X and yoga are a big part of that.
I went swimming this morning and is was awesome! I love swimming in cold water. Some might not consider that water ‘cold’ but compared to the water in August, this should have ice floating in it. As part of my increased discipline, I am swimming or taking a cold shower each day. Neither hurts me but either gets me in the proper mindset to do these exercises simply because I must. The goal is often easy, a race, but if there is no race scheduled right after, then there seems to be no obvious reason to train. Training must become the goal. The ultimate goal must be discipline. This is why I incorporate meditation into these entries. Meditation is a practice that seemingly has no place in all this but it is the most crucial. As I have mentioned in at least one previous entry. That being said, to establish and maintain a meditation routine is probably the most difficult and requires the highest discipline.
SO far, I believe I have disciplined (taught) myself to stop eating casually and constantly (again). I have disciplined myself to some type of exercise every day (no matter how I feel). I have disciplined myself to join in whatever nutso race my friends want to participate in. This is going to be a fun ride be sure to strap in and keep your hands in the vehicle, they have barbed wire and fire.
I am getting tired of this illness. I have been doing weights and some cardio at home but not running. Every time I finish working out, I go into a coughing fit. Tonight, I got chills again. Earlier today, I lay down on my son’s bed while he and his sister were playing his room. When I got up, I realized I was sweating so much, my back and the sheet were soaked. I did not feel a fever and it was over by the time I got up. I am not sure if running in the cold is a good idea with this hanging around. A hospital stay would surely prohibit my participation in the Rugged Maniac in less than 2 weeks. Realistically, I could probably run with minimal consequences (apart from coughing up all the particulates I inhale) but why take the chance? I am rather frustrated but I accept that I need to prioritize. being sicker would hurt my family immensely. My wife is now sick and the same symptoms are far more devastating for her. That fact takes precedence for me over running.
A whole lot of complaining I guess but I am going to persevere. I have lost more weight. I am 10 or 11 pounds down now from the first day of all this, so I am pleased. I am pleased that I have kept this whole project going for this long. I am grateful that I have been able to do so. I have a coupon for 10 yoga classes I need to redeem by December so I hope to use those at some point soon. My inflexible body needs to loosen up and release more toxins I guess. This illness is an indication of that. I also have The P90X system I can start but I am so out of shape, I think it will need to be P270X.
I am looking forward to the coming days/year. I get stronger and lighter every day. I will be the phoenix rising from the ashes and stronger than I was before. This illness is part of that rebirth and I will shed this like removing a coat and continue on to run marathons and train for triathlons. This is only the beginning. Sometimes the most difficult steps are the ones you take are right outside your front door. I am fully in the present moment and I see the illness and more things in my life from less literal perspective and far more symbolic. This helps me gain on my previously self-defeating or self-enabling attitude.
Diet has stayed the same. Less than 1300 kcals and 25g sugar. The illness has actually decreased my kcals for a couple days but I had a little bit for dinner.
Exercise nothing. Coughing fits have stopped me from doing anything strenuous since Wednesday. I ran Wednesday morning but nothing since.
30-45 minutes each day
Most of the soreness and hypersensitivity have gone away. I did not eat hardly anything yesterday because my throat was so raw from coughing. I think my metabolism has increased because I do not feel ill effects when I miss a meal. I think that this bout of ‘illness’ has really helped clear some toxins from my body. I did some research about compression and health and nothing seems to indicate that wearing compression bodywear increases or decreases health. There is mixed evidence that compression can help with recovery from longer term exercise such as triathlons and marathons. There is also evidence that people with certain health conditions can benefit from compression stockings or other garments. I wonder if my lymph system was stimulated to flush by the added compression of the suit. I will have to try this as an experiment now and report back with some results.