Rugged Maniac -7

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I guess this is not really weight loss but it falls into the area of exercise so it sort of fits. once I reach my target weight, I will add a healthy or fitness category for this sort of thing. Maybe even a race category to separate this topic from general health. I feel like I am waiting for my first day of school or my first date or even my first sexual encounter. I am excited beyond belief but scared so much I need to wear an adult diaper when I think about what is coming. I already knew I would be under-equipped for this but little did I know that I would not even have the 5 weeks I was supposed to have for training. I might as well have been told today that I would be in this thing for next Saturday. If you have been reading my posts, dear reader, you might notice that I am a bit divided on this topic.
Ego: I am a runner, not a Navy Seal. I would have been woefully undertrained for this no matter what. I am going to go out there and either let myself down or hurt myself. I will definitely let down my partner and that is what hurts the most. *In the past, this set of circumstances would allow me to bow out and quit before I start.* I have never done anything like this before and the things they set up sound dangerous and downright impossible to manage. I can do this because I am somehow specially gifted to adapt and I will not let anyone down. I don’t know about those pipes with mud and water in them (twice). I am fearful of such a thing. This has been a fear since childhood, getting stuck in a drainpipe. *I will not fear. Fear is the mind killer. I will face my fear and let it wash over me.*
Spirit: I am safe. I will have fun. I am with a dear friend whom I cherish and love and could never let down any more than she could let me down. I am doing all I can and I will trust that is sufficient to go out and have fun and do what I can to the best of my ability at the time of the race. Worrying about things I cannot control is a waste of energy. I will go and enjoy my experience and have fun along with a thousand other people.

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