Tired

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I am getting tired of this illness. I have been doing weights and some cardio at home but not running. Every time I finish working out, I go into a coughing fit. Tonight, I got chills again. Earlier today, I lay down on my son’s bed while he and his sister were playing his room. When I got up, I realized I was sweating so much, my back and the sheet were soaked. I did not feel a fever and it was over by the time I got up. I am not sure if running in the cold is a good idea with this hanging around. A hospital stay would surely prohibit my participation in the Rugged Maniac in less than 2 weeks. Realistically, I could probably run with minimal consequences (apart from coughing up all the particulates I inhale) but why take the chance? I am rather frustrated but I accept that I need to prioritize. being sicker would hurt my family immensely. My wife is now sick and the same symptoms are far more devastating for her. That fact takes precedence for me over running.

A whole lot of complaining I guess but I am going to persevere. I have lost more weight. I am 10 or 11 pounds down now from the first day of all this, so I am pleased. I am pleased that I have kept this whole project going for this long. I am grateful that I have been able to do so. I have a coupon for 10 yoga classes I need to redeem by December so I hope to use those at some point soon. My inflexible body needs to loosen up and release more toxins I guess. This illness is an indication of that. I also have The P90X system I can start but I am so out of shape, I think it will need to be P270X.

I am looking forward to the coming days/year. I get stronger and lighter every day. I will be the phoenix rising from the ashes and stronger than I was before. This illness is part of that rebirth and I will shed this like removing a coat and continue on to run marathons and train for triathlons. This is only the beginning. Sometimes the most difficult steps are the ones you take are right outside your front door. I am fully in the present moment and I see the illness and more things in my life from less literal perspective and far more symbolic. This helps me gain on my previously self-defeating or self-enabling attitude.

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