Month: October 2012


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Less than there was when I began and more than there will be in the near future.



Weight Loss Day 25-26

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Running has been a difficult task in the last few days. My wife has been getting home late which tends to lead to the kiddos going to bed later which leads to not getting to a workout until late. I do not mind other types of workouts late, but running tends to amp me up and I stay awake until past 11 or 12. I am not a fan of going to bed late because I feel like roadkill in the morning. (Which often leads to caffeine and I am NOT a fan.)
My diet remains consistent and now at home it has been easier to maintain. Sugar is less than 30g per day and actually less than 25 in the last couple days.

Weight Loss Day 24

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.5 cup cashews/sunflower seeds
2oz ostrich meat
.5 cup potato chips
2 liters water
Exercise – I am going to start with fewer reps and multiple sets next week. I am also going to begin alternating days. Cardio one day, weights the next. Running will be daily with 6 miles my minimum and 4 continuous once I warm up.

Meditation – 1 hour
Sometimes it feels like as I write, I enter a meditative state as well. So please forgive the occasional rant, that is just me meditating.

Weight Loss Day 22-23

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I seem to have lost a day in there somewhere. I can run now. Good thing less than a month until Rugged Maniac. I think I will just have to invest in some heavy pain killers and a lot of caffeine to get through that thing. I look forward to it. I look forward to running with my friend. She is a beautiful spirit and I love being with her.

Diet – pretty much the same for both days
.3 cup sunflower seeds
Salad with 4 cups lettuce, 1 cup cucumber, 2 oz chicken, 1T bleu cheese, 1T chili pepper sauce
8 cups water
I did not eat much today. Not hungry or perhaps, I really just do not need to eat as much as I have in the past.

push-ups and sit-ups x25
Unable to run because kids did not fall asleep until late. I only had time to do stuff in the house and meditate before going to sleep. My meditation time is deeper than in the past and I find that I am able to meditate for longer periods.

Weight Loss Day 21

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My ankle is still bothering me so I did not run tonight. I did weight training 50 pounds, 10 reps hold for 10 seconds, 5 sets. I also did sit-ups and pull-ups leveled off at 25 now for about a week.

Diet – I am finding it easy to maintain fewer calories and very easy to maintain sugar at less than 30g per day.
Peanut butter on 2 slices of brown rice bread
Chicken tacos – 3 – white corn shell, lettuce, 1-1.5 oz meat (broiled with garlic and onion), 1 tsp cheddar cheese
.5 cup pasta with alfredo sauce
.5 cup Fiber One cereal

40 minutes

Weekly Weigh in – 187 pounds (still going down!)


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I have been coming to this mall for a long time. A really long time. This was not my mall. Mine was close enough to walk to in 30 minutes. This one was 15 miles from my house. This one was an anomaly, it only had one floor. My mall had 2 floors and was monstrous compared to this one. My mall had everything I could want and more. As I got older, this mall held nostalgia and also grew to have the stores/items I did want. Now it is my mall by proximity. After we had children, this mall has become my chosen mall. We have 2 weeks off work for winter break and when my son was 9 months old, he would get up at 5am and we needed to get out of the house. I brought him to the mall because going for a run was too cold for him. Going to the park was not an option because I wanted a place he would be able to run around without worry. Home was too small and we wanted mommy to sleep. We came here and I would push the stroller and he would run around. It only took a couple times and he learned to come back to me when I called him. I had found the perfect place to bring him (plus he would tire himself out running for a couple miles at a time so he would go home and sleep for hours). A pleasant revelation was the playground at the mall. I brought him to this little treasure (something I never really noticed before not having children previously) and found it to be a wonder. The floors are cushioned and the toys are too. This was even safer than running around the mall even if it was far more limited a space. We actually would go run the mall first then go play on the playground. At 6 am, there is no one at the mall except people exercising. What I had remembered about the playground was the (seemingly) thousands of kids playing there all at once screaming their heads off and running around full speed (it is a wonder no one got seriously maimed at these things). We were alone and he could learn how to climb the equipment without fear that some 12 year-old would crash into him causing some debilitating injury. We could play together without getting in the way of other children. It was fun. It was bonding.
We went to the mall every day over breaks, and on the weekends during the school year. This was quiet time and this was quality learning time for both of us. When my daughter was born, this changed a bit. He was two and she was too small at first to play, only 5-6 months. I had to keep track of her rather closely. And diapers, feeding, sleep schedule limited the amount of time I could let him play at the mall/playground. The saddest part is the “let him play” because I had to say with the baby. When she was almost a year old, she was old enough to play and the three of us would play together. A lot of memories but more important, bonding occurred there.

Why do I bring all this up now? Today, we went to the mall. It has been months since we went to the mall and the kids asked if we could go. When we got there, there was a woman cleaning the equipment. I figured there was some sort of change today, it happens. Wrong. Apparently they clean it in the early morning on the weekends now. During the week they clean from 2-3 pm. I/we were extremely disappointed. It was just after 8 and we were not going to sit around for an hour waiting (yeah, try sitting around with a 4 and 2 year-old with nothing to do). Walking around the mall holds no thrill for them like it did before. This change in their schedule is very disappointing as it marks the end of a fun time in our lives. Some might say, try another mall. I have gone to all the malls on this side of town. None of the others is as safe, clean, or as interesting for the kids as this playground.
Bottom line…this marks the end of an era in my life with my children. We will still find places to have fun and play but this one was the right place at the right time for all three of us. I guess it is time for all three of us to grow up a little bit.

Halloween is coming

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Getting ready for Halloween. Well, this is a project that will probably become more involved as my children get older. This year and last involve some art projects at home as well as my son telling us a few dozen times a day that he wants to be Ironman. Every time he tells us this my daughter tells us she wants to be Captain America or Thor. I like the pretend aspect of it all. Children get to pretend to be something else yet have genuine fun that involves adults. How often do the adults get to participate in the imagination of children? We are so often pushing our children to perform or produce because if you are not making something (grades, money, a nicer looking room or house) then you must be lazy, unskilled, or unmotivated. Bottom line… worthless.

This is the culture we live in. Produce or you have no worth. Too bad. I think more adults need to participate in Halloween, pretending to be something or someone else might do a lot of people some good. Children need to be children but, I think, so do some adults. Way too many adults take themselves to seriously even in play. I often find thoughts running in my head along these lines, “What will people think if my child acts like this?”, “How will my children do in school if they never learn this?”, “What if my children do not get along with their teachers, how will they do in school (job, life, etc.)?”. These are the tribe’s thoughts. These are my ego’s interjections into my consciousness. These thoughts are damaging to my relationship with my children. I acknowledge these thoughts and dismiss them as readily as I can. This is my way of pretending myself. I am pretending to be a part of society, but I want more than society can offer my family. I like being able to think for myself and I hope that is the lesson I am teaching my children. This is an ongoing struggle but I like to think I am making a little bit of progress every day.

I think I will go pick out my costume too.